Five Questions for Self-Reflection as Learned from Scene Study

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  1. Who am I?

Here we go. The big one again.

Who am I and who have I been? What was childhood like? What does my family life look like? Did I have friends? Was I bullied? Am I college educated, have I learned a trade? Both? Neither? Do people believe in me? Do I believe in myself?

Who am I currently? Am I someone who loves my career or someone who devotes most of my time to family? Do I devote most of my time to my career but want to devote my time to something else? Am I someone who is looking for more and doesn’t feel satisfied? Have I been depressed lately?Anxious? Have I been happy? Content? Am I in love? Have I made any new friends lately or lost old ones?

Photo by Ethan Gulley

Where am I? What’s my home like? What’s my office like? Am I happy in my big city or my small town? Do I like my surroundings? Am I desperate for them to change?

What about the people around me? Am I surrounded with people I love? Am I lonely? Am I surrounded by people I love and still feeling lonely? What are my relationships to the people around me? What am I lacking that I need or want from them?

How about my future? What is my dream come true? What is my nightmare? What do I want so badly that I can feel it in my gut? What terrifies me? Who do I want to become? How am I acting in order to make one of these outcomes possible?

What are my strengths? Where do I feel vulnerable? Am I charming? Am I practical? Is my decisive behavior a strength or is it a weakness? Am I indecisive? Do I easily accept love? What about trust? Do I hold back my love for others? Do I like how I look? Am I worried that people only like me for how I look? Am I generous? Am I too generous?

2. Where am I?

How have I felt emotionally? Do I feel secure? Am I scared? Where am I in my personal journey? What is the current climate of my mind? Am I evolving? What am I fighting for? What am I fighting against?

3. What do I need [from those around me]?

Am I looking for love? Am I looking for acceptance? Do I need someone to climb into my hole with me and feel my pain? Do I want to be pulled out of my pain? Do I want someone to be excited for me? What do I need that I’m looking for in those around me?

Photo by Ethan Gulley

4. What will get me what I want or need [from those around me]?

Now, this one might sound a little manipulative when read like this, so think of it more like, How should I treat people to achieve my desired outcome? or, What actions can I take [at work, at home, at this party] to get what I need?

Should I get someone a thoughtful gift? Should I ask my partner how his/her day was today? Should I do the dishes before he/she gets home? Should I stand up to my boss? Should I stand up to my mother? Should I call my mother just to talk? Should I share my pain with somebody? Should I set clearer boundaries?

5. What are possible underlying objectives?

Above all, what do I want right now? What am I chasing? What is my life about? Do I want love from my parents? Do I want love from a romantic partner? Do I want respect at work? Do I want respect from my children? Do I want companionship? Do I want peace from anxiety? Do I want comfort from depression? Do I want freedom? Do I want understanding? Safety? Honor? Belonging?

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